Pagan Light Bulb Jokes | Living with Magick

How many druids does it take to change a light bulb? 501. One to change the bulb and 500 to align the new stone.
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb? What do you want it changed into?
How many toads does it take to change a light bulb? One, if you can remember which one used to be the electrician.
How many witches does it take to screw in a light bulb? None — they screw in Great Rites.
How many sex magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only two, but they have to be very small!
How many ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb? One. They hold it up, and the world revolves around them.
How many Frost School of Wicca witches does it take to change a light bulb? “Just you! That's right, you! And for only $199.99, we'll send you our complete Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course, with real knowledge that you can apply to any light bulb anywhere! Listen to the testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who…”
How many Discordians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A blue fish Tueday.
How many Erisians does it take to change a light bulb? “How many have we got?”
How many Discordians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two — One to hold a ladder, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored, east German machine tools.
How many Wiccans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. One for each direction.
How many members of the O.T.O. does it take to screw in a light bulb? Sorry, that ritual is copyrighted.
How many Proteans does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many will fit?
How many Asatruars does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light from the burning monastery is sufficient, thank you.
How many Seax Wicca witches does it take to change a light bulb? “Refer to my second book, Practical Light Bulb Changing by Raymond Buckland…”
How many pagans does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that light bulbs never burned out before those damned Christians came along.
How many technopagans does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the computer is still working, who cares about the light bulb?
How many solitary witches does it take to change a light bulb? If they actually ask “how many?” drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious.
How many years does it take a kitchen witch to change a light bulb? Already changed.
How many lesbian feminist Dianic Wiccans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, and it's not funny!!!
How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb? [Any large number here] — One to change the light bulb, one to prepare the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism afterwards…
How many Isians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to handle publicity, and one to write the newsletter.
How many family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb? Candlelight was good enough for Grandma, and it's good enough for me!
How many British Traditional Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb? 13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.
How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb? (In a low ominous tone) “Why do you want to know, Initiate?”
How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb? It's a third degree secret.
How many years does it take a Gardnerian witch to change a light bulb? A year and a day in an Outer Grove, a year and a day at first level, a year and a day at second level, but only third levels change light bulbs.
How may light bulbs does it take to change a Gardnerian? None, they can do it all by themselves, thank you very much!!
How many Alexandrian witches does it take to change a light bulb? “Lets go see how the Gardnerians do it!”
How many years does it take an Alexandrian witch to change a light bulb? That's the Maiden's job. Maiden, make it so.
How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb? Thirteen; a High Priestess to change the bulb, and 12 coven members to hold her up under all that jewelry!
How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb? None; real Thelemites aren't afraid of the dark!
How many druids does it take to change a light bulb? Six; one to change the bulb, one to write a song about how much better the old bulb was, and four to write conflicting parodies of the second druid's song.
How many shamans does it take to change a light bulb? None; they shapeshift into a cat or a bat, and can see in the dark.
How many mailing list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? 1,331. One to change the light bulb and to post to the mailing list that the light bulb has been changed; fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently; seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs; 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs; 53 to flame the spell checkers; 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames; 156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mailing list; 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to another list; 203 to demand that crossposting to other lists about changing light bulbs be stopped; 111 to defend the posting to this list, saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mailing list; 3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list; 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty; 27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs; 14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs; 33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add “Me Too.”; 12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy; 19 to quote the “Me Too”s to say, “Me Three.”; 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ; 48 to propose new change.lite.bulb newsgroup; 47 to say there is already an alt.light.bulb newsgroup; and 143 to ask if anyone ever did change the lightbulb.